


backseat sandwich

by livtontea



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Episode: s01e05 Very Erectus, Gen, Minific, No Beta, Talking, dirk is a bit of an awkward idiot and i say that with the utmost love, no beds here no sir, sharing a... car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:59:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea
Summary: “Scoot over.”“What?” says Todd. “No.”
Relationships: Todd Brotzman & Dirk Gently
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	backseat sandwich

**Author's Note:**

> summery captain asked:
>
>> I wish you would write a fic where the "but there was only one bed" trope goes down but it's todd and dirk having to share the backseat of that jeep they got to go get the various time machine parts 😔🤙 The ankwardness. The hope. I know u can do it liv---
> 
> this is an older minific crossposted from tumblr, and can be found [here,](https://peachygos.tumblr.com/post/625924496807837696/i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic-where-the-but-there) additionally it CAN be read as slash but it's not explicit. love u benjie <3 

“Scoot over.”

“What?” says Todd. “No.”

Dirk is already clambering over the seats to the back. Todd scoots over.

“What the hell, Dirk?”

“I can’t sleep up front,” Dirk says like it’s embarrassing Todd would even suggest that. Todd doesn’t think he did, but.

“Why the hell not?”

“I’m too tall,” he says with the confidence of a blindfolded tightrope walker. 

“But I’m sleeping in the back.”

“No, _we’re_ sleeping in the back, please do keep up, Todd.”

“Wh—you can’t just _do that_.”

“Why the hell not?” Dirk parrots. “Look you can move up front if you want, but it’s uncomfortable and my legs don’t fit and I’m sleeping here.”

Todd isn’t anything if not stubborn. “I’m not moving to the front.”

“Then deal with me in the back.”

“There’s less room if we’re both in the back,” Todd points out. “If one of us is in the front, there’s more room for both of us.”

“I think we have established that I’m not moving back up front, and you’re not moving up front, therefore we are both remaining in the back. As you can see, this is what one would call a dilemma.”

“It’s not a dilemma if you just go back to the front.”

“But I won’t,” Dirk says.

“But you won’t,” mutters Todd. “Shit.”

“We can just share the back,” suggests Dirk, already slowly pulling Todd’s blanket over to himself. “You know. Just a thought.”

“We’re two grown men. We won’t fit in the back at the same time.”

“Well, Todd, to me, it seems like so far we’re fitting quite well.”

They really aren’t. Dirk’s knees are awkwardly bunched up to his chest and Todd is going to wake up with a massive cramp in his neck if he falls asleep like this. He takes a deep breath and allows himself one world-weary sigh. And then a second one.

“Fine. But if you kick me I’m throwing you out of the car.”

“Onto the front seat?”

“Out of the car,” says Todd, and turns away from Dirk in hopes that he’ll take the sign that this conversation is over. He hears Dirk make a little sound that usually comes with an on-brand _wiggle._

With Dirk pressed up far too close to him than he has to be, Todd falls asleep.

* * *

He wakes up with Dirk sprawled out half on top of him and bony elbows buried in his gut.

Figures.

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this to @peachygos but my dghda tumblr is @farahblack, come check me out there if you like! comments are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading <3


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